It hurts because it mattered ~ unknown
It is impossible to move through life without knowing the pain of rejection at some point. Whether it is a heartbreaking end to a relationship, a ‘no’ from your boss on a project that you had given you entire being to produce or dashed hopes over not getting the job when you felt the interview went really well, can result in a flood of self-criticism and crushed self-confidence that can leave us feeling angry, sad, afraid and without trust, a sense of self-worth and feelings of isolation, instability and fear that are hard to step away from.
Rejection hurts and can destroy your resilience.
The following link / excerpt provides a list by Angel Chernoff, life coach and author, to some great ways to reframe the experience when you are struggling with the conviction that you are flawed and worthless.
https://www.marcandangel.com/2021/03/28/20-things-to-remember-when-rejection-hurts/
“It’s time to squash the subconscious idea that you don’t deserve any better. It’s time to remind yourself that…
- The person you liked, loved or respected in the past, who treated you like dirt again and again, has nothing intellectually or spiritually to offer you in the present moment, but headaches and heartache.
- One of the most rewarding and important moments in life is when you finally find the courage to let go of what you can’t change, like someone else’s behavior or decisions.
- Life and God both have greater plans for you that don’t involve crying at night or believing that you’re broken.
- The harsh truth is, sometimes you have to get knocked down lower than you have ever been to stand up taller and emotionally stronger than you ever were before.
- It’s not the end of the world—it’s never the end of the world – and yet rejection can make the loss of someone or something you weren’t even that crazy about feel gut-wrenching and world-ending.
- Sometimes people don’t notice the things we do for them until we stop doing them. And sometimes the more chances you give, the more respect you lose. Enough is enough. Never let a person get comfortable with disrespecting you. You deserve better. You deserve to be with someone who makes you smile, someone who doesn’t take you for granted, someone who won’t leave you hanging.
- Some chapters in our lives have to close without closure. There’s no point in losing yourself by trying to fix what’s meant to stay broken.
- Take a deep breath. Inner peace begins the moment you decide not to let another person or event control your emotions.
- You really can’t take things other people say about you too personally. What they think and say is a reflection of them, not of you.
- Those with the strength to succeed in the long run are the ones who build themselves up with the bricks others have thrown at them.
- Let your scars remind you that the damage someone has inflicted on you has left you stronger, smarter, and more resilient.
- When you lose someone or something, don’t think of it as a loss, but as a gift that lightens your load so that you can better travel the path meant for you.
- You will never miss out on what is meant for you, even if it has to come to you in a roundabout way. Stay focused. Be positive.
- Rejections and naysayers aren’t that important in the grand scheme of things; so don’t let them conquer your mind. Step forward! Seriously, most of us do not understand how much potential we have – we limit our aspirations to the level someone else told us was possible.
- Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are. Don’t be one of them. Ultimately, you are who you are when nobody’s watching. Know this! And dare to be yourself, however awkward, different or odd that self may prove to be to someone else.
- Comparing yourself with others, or other people’s perceptions, only undermines your worth, your education, and your own inner wisdom. No one can handle your present situation better than you.
- The more we fill our lives with genuine passion and purpose, the less time and energy we waste looking for approval from everyone else.
- You can use your struggles, frustrations, and rejections to motivate you rather than annoy you. You are in control of the way you look at life.
- Sometimes transitions in life mean something even better is coming your way, so embrace them and don’t be afraid to let go.
- Right now is a new beginning. The possibilities ahead are endless. Be strong enough to let go, wise enough to move forward, diligent enough to work hard, and patient enough to wait for what you deserve.”
Take time to consider how some of the above can support you to heal when rejection has made you question your worth when you feel alone.
You are perfect and good enough – remember who you are and breathe in that truth every single day!!
With love, acceptance and well wishes,
John
