“Basically the past will return to us again and again until we allow the emotions to surface into consciousness.” ~ Healmindbody.com
When was the last time you encountered an emotional issue in your life? Maybe you got angry at a loved one, you felt jealous of a co-worker or you were worried about finances? How did you deal with the situation? Did you simply bury your anger, jealousy or worry? Or were you able to embrace the feelings and integrate their presence.
More often than not, your first reaction is to bury your feelings. From a very early age, we are mostly conditioned to believe that feelings are a sign of weakness and thus expressing them is not acceptable. Burying your feelings leaves you at arm’s length from them and makes healing and releasing them impossible.
TIP: Ask yourself, “How are you feeling? “ If you are avoiding your emotions, you might ‘hear’ your inner reply as a metaphor, “I feel like I have been hit by a bus”; you might respond saying, “ I feel tingly” or “I feel good” or “I am ok”. None of these responses are feelings!!! To each answer ask, “Is this a feeling or a thought?” Look for true emotions in your responses that sound more like, “happy” “sad” “angry” “afraid” “hurt”.
When you have a physical wound, your body’s immune system rallies the troops to heal the injury. Your emotional immune system behaves the same way (but different ☺ ) It continually tries to bring suppressed, damaging emotions to consciousness so they can be released and you can heal.
The tell-tale signs that you are avoiding emotions on a conscious level and that your emotional immune system is hard at work to get your attention can include:
How you speak
• simply ignoring them when they come up (“I am fine” “I am ok” “I am not bad”);
• making them less potent by generalizing them (“Everyone feels pain – no big deal”)
• masking the emotion (using humour to deflect sadness)
• crying and still saying you are ‘okay’
• choosing what your are supposed to be feeling over what you are feeling.
How you act
• using drugs, alcohol, caffeine,
• engaging in distractions such as TV
• becoming a shop-a-holic (more ‘stuff’ = more self-worth)
• being controlling and manipulative
• ending relationship in the same way with the same issues involved
What happens in your life
• physical illness
• tension and pain in the body especially in the head, neck, shoulders and back.
• Increased appetite and weight gain
• upset stomach, nausea, diarrhea, bloating and/or constipation.
• depression and anxiety
• going silent by shutting down open communication in relationships
Those feelings that you locked away safe and sound inside you will always be felt, will always try to come to consciousness and will always drain your energy until they are accessed and released.
That’s where Breathwork comes in – it works at the feeling level, supports integration of emotions by allowing you to feel the feeling and embrace it without judgment or avoidance. Helps you realize that emotions are just emotions! You know at the deepest truth that emotions are simply patterns of energy, physical sensations that you can release.
As you learn how to respect your emotions and yes, maybe even admire them, behaviours change from hiding and controlling your feelings to getting in touch with what may have been shut down long ago. When you are confident that you are safe enough to express emotions, you open up access to unconditional self-love, self-acceptance, more fulfilling relationships, less emotional resistance and greater well being for you.