26 Sep 2015 | John Stamoulos
Someone cuts you off in traffic; your partner’s behaviour upsets you; your boss criticizes your project; illness stops you from pursuing a goal; you are deeply hurt by a friend’s action against you.
When something or someone irritates you, is disrespectful, crosses boundaries, or is hurtful, anger is often the natural reaction. Firing neurotransmitters in your brain and physical body responses can offer a shot of power when you might be feeling the most powerless.
How do you handle an anger-inducing event?
Do you hold it in and do nothing? Do you erupt into yelling of spiteful words? Do lovingly point out the source of your upset even while silently seething inside?
Anger’s Invitation
When an event or person gets under your skin, the ultimate goal in dealing with the aggravation is to find a peaceful resolution that fuels a compassionate interaction with the situation, with others or with yourself.
Here are some steps that can take that give you the opportunity to sit in the driver’s seat and shift the energy surging through you:
- Acknowledge you are angry and pinpoint the trigger(s)
- Avoid reactive outbursts –
- Remove yourself from the scene if possible to regroup
- Take deep breaths to cool the fire
- Count to 10 (yes! your mother was right)
- Seek support –
- Talk to a safe friend
- Breathwork can get to the deeper issue that is needing your attention
- Take action –
- Go to the gym, take a power walk, punch a pillow to release the energy (yes! so 70’s but it works!!)
- Find a private place to yell out the energy – let it go!! (I do it in the car while driving)
- Journal – don’t edit, just write (you can burn it or dispose of it later)
- Listen to music that can infuse calm and quiet into your being
- Choose a conscious response and move on –
- Reconciliation?
- Disconnection?
- Let it go?
Anger will always be a part of life. If you are able to intelligently follow a resolute course of action that is responsive rather than reactive, you give yourself a dynamic tool that can protect you from harm, see you through any adversity, fuel your personal growth and encourage empowered action for your greatest success.
Success is the best revenge
