“The most dangerous stories we make up are the stories that we make up about our lovability, about our divinity and about our creativity.” ~Brené Brown
Your story is a fictional belief system that has been internally written from your life experiences, made meaningful by your ego and continually told to you by a stealth inner voice that interprets every life event through that filter.
It can be as simple as a perceived judgemental side-glance from a co-worker, or a sigh instead of a verbal reply to a comment you have made. It can be an upsetting disagreement with your spouse or a crippling feeling of fear as you address a crowd at a public speaking event. Whatever the moment, your story can trigger a cascade of thoughts, assumptions, and behaviours that lie to you about your identity, your value, your personal power and what is possible in your life.
There are many stories you can tell yourself, but at their core, they mostly sound like – “I am never enough.” “I am not worthy” “I am not loveable” “I am stupid”.
The Effects of Your Story
Your story operates at an unconscious level and …
- interprets life, based on its script of past hurts and events that delivered pain and suffering,
- triggers strong emotions of anxiety, anger, sadness that can lead to frozen responses, depression and even illness,
- attaches repetitive and addictive negativity to your present experiences,
- becomes a way for you to get attention, sympathy and love from others,
- can stop you from growth because of self-doubt and the fear of failure.
- can drain your energy and leave you feeling disempowered and without a vision of what is possible.
Your Story In Action
Because of their embedded nature, stories are often hard to detect. Here are three ways you can identify that a story is operating in you:
Emotions: You have a strong negative reaction to something or someone. Strong and sudden emotions or even feeling numb, are good indicators that there is a past, unresolved issue being awakened.
Thoughts: Your thoughts are out of alignment with what is actually going on externally. Instead, old memories or irrational thinking has taken over your inner dialogue.
Behaviours: You notice that you are acting out of character. You might feel like you want to run away or find yourself becoming silent and withdrawing into a shell.
Healing Your Story
Your story doesn’t have to drive your life. When it takes over, you can stop its effects in its tracks. Here’s how:
Become aware. Ask these questions:
- What am I feeling right now?
- What false assumptions am I making based on my story?
- What is really true? How can I honour what is true?
Give Your Story a Name and a Title and ask:
- What is my story trying to tell me/show me ?
- How can I change my story? “What if…?”
- Who would I be if I choose to step outside my story?
Use Breathwork as an Efficient Tool:
- Take the journey to your true essence and discover the magnificent you under the lies you tell yourself.
- Let go of the grip that your false beliefs and assumptions.
- Reunite with your Divinity
Take Responsibility for Your Own Healing:
- No one is coming to rescue you. You are asked instead to recognise your story and take responsibility to change the inner dialogue.
- How would you make a new and positive change?
When you let go of your story…
When you step outside your story, you realise that “Your story is just your story” and you understand that you can heal from its invisible tyranny. By making peace with it, you are making peace with your past. Only then you can open yourself to the healing power of your heart. From there, it becomes a joyous reunion with your innocence, Divinity and the beautiful essence of your authentic self.
I’m thankful for my struggle because without it I wouldn’t have stumbled across my strength. ~ Alex Elle
