Examine What You Tolerate ~ Unknown
Just as borders define the separation between countries, personal boundaries are the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual fences you erect around yourself that define who you are and communicate what is okay and not okay in your interactions with others.
Boundaries are the necessary rules you set that keep you safe and give you the ability to say ‘no’ to incompatible, external demands. Strong yet flexible boundaries help you maintain a sense of well-being by preserving your integrity and safeguarding against manipulation from others.
Well-balanced boundaries also allow you to reach out to others and lovingly connect.
Your boundaries may need attention if…
Unhealthy boundaries generate many unwanted side effects and can attract disrespectful, controlling or needy people into your life who will take advantage of your accommodating nature. The core reason for having weak boundaries is often driven by the fear and belief that you are unlovable, not worthy or not enough. This false insecurity inspires you to put out immense efforts to please others that can generate exhaustion and health issues from the resulting burn-out and stress.
‘No.’ is a complete sentence ~ Anne Lamott
Well-defined boundaries are the foundation of your inner joy and peace. They let you off the hook for being all things to all people and teach you that selfishness can be a sacred, life-affirming state of being.
Exercising boundaries also releases fear, grows self-esteem and encourages a healthy sense of your empowered self because they help your define and defend your values and integrity.
As you develop greater awareness of your own limits, you can freely be more flexible in your interactions with others. When you know your boundaries, you can confidently reach out, be more compassionate in supporting others, feel less anger or frustration in relationships, and trust that your choices will be aligned with who you are and what supports your safety and growth.
Learning to establish and live within the parameters of your chosen boundaries is a process that takes time and patience to develop. Setting limits with those who are accustomed to your complete attention to their needs will create some stormy, uncomfortable moments but, in the end, the efforts are well worth the outcomes.
You don’t owe anyone an interaction. ~ Carolyn McGraw